They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but on dating apps, the wrong picture is worth a thousand cringes, left-swipes, and screenshots sent to her friends. While everyone knows the obvious no-go’s (crouching in front of a Lambo that isn’t yours, anything involving a sideways peace sign, etc.), women have a secret list of photos that they’re either sick of seeing or consider a major turnoff. Read on to find out if your dating app photos need a total makeover.
1. You, on a Hike
Standing in nature, arms outstretched, eyes gazing to the heavens is perfect if you’re the lead singer of Creed. On a dating app, an image like this has not only been done to death, it also tells a potential girlfriend nothing about you since the camera is usually 150,000 feet away from your face, leaving her to wonder: Who is that little North Face-clad dot? What does he actually look like? How tall is he? Is he wearing those weird toe shoes?!
With arms wide open, we ask you to please put a new spin on the same old mountain trope, or at least get a hobby that doesn’t involve pants that zip off into shorts.
2. You, With Other Females
It’s unfortunate how many hours can be spent analyzing body language, nose widths, and eye slope trying to deduce if that girl in your photo is either your sister or your ex. If it ends up being your old girlfriend, the assumption is you’ve posted her to show girls that you can pull hot chicks. That’s not a dynamic women want to get involved with, so before you post that pic of you looking handsome at your cousin’s wedding, either state explicitly that the stunning brunette is a blood relative, or cut her out.
3. You, With Other, Hotter Guys
Gay or straight, we should be able to gauge the attractiveness of our friends. You’re not doing yourself any favors by pretending that your 6’5” Swedish fitness model roommate isn’t a Norse sex god come to life. If that is the case, keep him out of your photos. The last thing you want is a girl swiping right on you only to get with your Skarsgård of a friend, or worse, thinking she’s landed a date with him instead of you.
4. You, With an Exotic Animal
These animal encounter pictures are the male equivalent of a “duck face in front of the Coachella Ferris wheel.” While it seems cool on paper, the showy smugness makes it off-putting. Also, since you probably didn’t take the tiger cub home in your carry-on, the image will only leave the viewer stewing in a combined fit of jealousy and cuteness overload. So you better have a puppy.
5. You, Shirtless in the Bathroom Mirror
No woman wants to see what your toilet looks like. Sure, women want a general sense of your body, but a bathroom selfie is trashy, juvenile, and leaves viewers thinking you cannot take a picture of yourself with clothes on. Unless you live at the Four Seasons, we are judging your bathroom HARD.
Just don’t stress too much over crafting the perfect gallery. Women just want to know what you look like and that you have a social life. Instead, think quality over quantity: three clear, full-length photos are all you need to get your dream girl’s attention.
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